Do the work.

It’s interesting how easy it is for me to soak up the kind words and gestures of others, and believe that that’s the only work it takes to make something happen.

I remember the specific moment in elementary school when I got my first “bad” grade on a test and suddenly decided that that defined how intelligent I was.

And once that was defined, I didn’t see the point of working at something I could “never” be good at.

So I stopped. I avoided it. I told myself I couldn’t do it.

And my entire life until that point has affirmed that I’m not intelligent enough because I’ve been able to avoid that area and still survive.

Even though my lack of intelligence never was true, I found what I was naturally good at and rolled with it.

Which is why it could appear to some that I don’t work hard. Or I never had to work hard. Or that things come easy to me.

In reality, I have worked hard my entire life to avoid situations where what felt like my weaknesses, unintelligence or short-comings are at the forefront.

And I believed up until this point that I would be successful this way.

But it’s funny how much our fears define us. How much they change the entire course of our lives without us even realizing it.

How I have not, in fact, but living my best life.

And so now I need to figure out how to untangle the mess of psychological confusion while also gaining skills in areas that terrify me.

With so many excuses and avoidances and reasons to not even go there, not even try.

I just have to do it.

A Simple Chaos is an open forum to write to my heart’s content. The words are produced from my own life experiences and all opinions are my own.

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